I <3 TXT, or My Recent Brush with Fame

So, I was sitting at my window enjoying a nice Oakland sunset:

When my phone alerted me of an in-coming text message:

Isn't that sweet someone is thinking of me. I replied:

I was totally surprised when I found out it was:

There was only one logical assumption as to which Celine this was and this was funny because I was just thinking of her.

Not without a little disappointment I received this message:

Who is this Mr Phelps and why would Celine Dion be texting him. I decided that it was best to be civil with Celine-- she is a powerful performer-- so I used a sweet emoticon.

Then this:

Listen here Celine! I don't know who you are out gallivanting with but I assure you I do not and moreover will not associate with anyone calling themselves by such a bizarre assortment of words: peace justin zen.

Then I remembered that I hate Celine Dion and tried to angrily flip my phone shut, alas I don't have a flip phone so I pressed the end button and swore off "The Power of Love" forever.